Nurturing the wounds of my inner child, finding true north through healing.
‘I see myself in joy and love, I see myself, I am enough’
I often sing this chant by Beautiful Chorus in my head, even though I don’t always believe it.
The reason for this non-belief goes deeper than the deepest well and right back to my childhood. As is the case for most of us. Upbringing and our early childhood maladaptive schemas (well worth looking up if you are not familiar with the concept) are like shadows that follow you around and darken your days if you don’t address them.
I often have to remind myself that the wounded inner child in me now has a reliable adult to give them all they crave and need - ME!
The grown, more healed version of me can nurture the wounds of my inner child. It’s an interesting cycle of healing, the more time I spend nurturing my inner child the more I heal the adult in me too!
It took me almost 4 decades to learn this and I still struggle some days, but I now have what I call ‘go to power ups’ that bring me back to center, and have me feeling more like myself, faster.
Shedding the layers
Playing music, writing in my journal or poetry or songs, meditation, movement, nature - all bring me to my center and show my true north, as they say.
When I am back in alignment I am more able to pinpoint the source or my discomfort and have the clarity and strength required to do so. And it often goes right back to a childhood trauma, a knot I need to undo, an untruth I need to stop believing.
I continue to fight and untie all these knots, not only for myself and my own well-being but for my children too!
Once I became a parent, it was as if someone started shining a spotlight on my own childhood and started pouring salt into childhood cuts I didn’t even realize I had. I yearned so badly to not perpetuate patterns that had hurt generations before me, yet I didn’t always have the capacity to do the constructive thing right away. The awareness is there but taking the right action takes work.
So I sing, write, breathe and move as I shed layers I no longer need and transmute pain and trauma into kindness, compassion, growth and healing.
‘I see myself in joy and love, I see myself, I am enough.'
Thank you Marija for allowing me to share your story.
Photo: supplied by Marija